Open disgrace is not essential to true penitence. The sooner you confess wherein you have been wrong, the less you will have to confess. Nothing can possibly be gained by waiting. You are constantly growing harder, and you may grieve the Spirit until he leaves you.
"Wanderer from thy Father's home, So full of sin, so far away,
Wilt thou any longer roam?
Oh, wilt thou not return today?
Wilt thou? Oh, he knows it all.
Thy Father sees; he meets thee here! Wilt thou? hear his tender call. 'Return, return!' while he is near."
Do not wait for some great occasion, or for some eminent saint to help you. You have now the best occasion -- a time without distraction, the best and greatest of helps -- the Holy Spirit. And God is saying, "Return unto me, and I will return unto you" (Mal. 3:7). Then come back at once, however slightly or however widely you may have wandered.
Roberts, B.T.. Pungent Truths (Kindle Locations 1486-1496). Unknown. Kindle Edition.