Yesterday's post was about staying far away from temptation. The king of that country wanted a carriage driver who would not be tempted to be a show-off or to be brave with his daughter. Rather he wanted a carriage driver who would be safe.
To be safe is to be predictable. To be predictable is to plan ahead. To be predictable is to make decisions ahead of time about what you would do in a particular situation.
I had a young man ask me, "how far can I go with a girl? Is going up her shirt too far?" The answer he received was, "If she was your wife and another guy had done that to her before you married her, how would you feel?" He responded, "I wouldn't like it." Then the conversation proceeded to how to make guard rails in his life. What things could he place in his life that tell him he is about to go too close to the edge? He needed to stay far away from the edge rather than seeing how close to the edge he could come.
If you are a regular user of Facebook, then you know that you get all kinds of "friend" requests from people. It's not uncommon to receive friend requests from people you don't know. I caution you to not accept friend requests easily. Some are very easy to spot as they have provocative pictures or have a lot of foul language or racist comments. You're not going to get a "confirm friendship" from me if that is you. That is a guide rail that I have set in my life. You may think that's rather prudish but remember, Facebook is not reality. If we have a real, face-to-face friendship, I will be friendly to you and try to have an influence on you and create a real friendship with you.
Other friend requests are not as easy to spot. For example, one young lady asked to be my friend. I noticed that on her FB wall, she had a rather narrow view of men. She had posts about how to treat men and also about men like to drink beer. In fact, she private messaged me and invited me to a party so that I could have a few beers. She knows I am married. It appears that she believed that all men cared about were sex and beer.
Most men are much more complex than that. Men are actually pretty deep and enjoy many aspects of life and thought. I was flattered (however, she does know a bit about me and I think she was being manipulative, not flattering) but I also know that confirming her friendship would be getting me too close to the edge. If I think that her friendship would be innocent, and that I could handle such, then I have taken more liberty with myself than I think I should.
Maybe nothing would happen but then what would happen if FB conversations turned flirtatious? What would happen if I privately told her things about my marriage and my life that I didn't tell my wife? What if I became more interested in talking with her than my spouse? You can see the slippery slope that starts with just the click of a mouse. So, that's a guard rail that I have set in my life. I try to be very careful about what I allow into my life. I've seen too many men fall with just saying yes to simple things...
Now, I'm speaking about my life. These are just some simple predictabilities that I have thought through. I have planned ahead for what I believe is good for me. You may have different convictions than I have. You may be able to have FB friendships with people that seem questionable. But not me. I don't want to see how close I can get to that edge.
Caveat: I have found FB to be the world's largest mission field. I see it is a wonderful opportunity to make friends with people all over the world and also to share Jesus with people with whom I would never, ever have contact. I tend to use FB for joining groups and meeting people in rooms that have Administrators who monitor the conversations. That also gives me time to check out the person in a safe environment so that I have a better idea if the person is safe (predictable).
To be safe is to be predictable. To be predictable is to plan ahead. To be predictable is to make decisions ahead of time about what you would do in a particular situation.
I had a young man ask me, "how far can I go with a girl? Is going up her shirt too far?" The answer he received was, "If she was your wife and another guy had done that to her before you married her, how would you feel?" He responded, "I wouldn't like it." Then the conversation proceeded to how to make guard rails in his life. What things could he place in his life that tell him he is about to go too close to the edge? He needed to stay far away from the edge rather than seeing how close to the edge he could come.
If you are a regular user of Facebook, then you know that you get all kinds of "friend" requests from people. It's not uncommon to receive friend requests from people you don't know. I caution you to not accept friend requests easily. Some are very easy to spot as they have provocative pictures or have a lot of foul language or racist comments. You're not going to get a "confirm friendship" from me if that is you. That is a guide rail that I have set in my life. You may think that's rather prudish but remember, Facebook is not reality. If we have a real, face-to-face friendship, I will be friendly to you and try to have an influence on you and create a real friendship with you.
Other friend requests are not as easy to spot. For example, one young lady asked to be my friend. I noticed that on her FB wall, she had a rather narrow view of men. She had posts about how to treat men and also about men like to drink beer. In fact, she private messaged me and invited me to a party so that I could have a few beers. She knows I am married. It appears that she believed that all men cared about were sex and beer.
Most men are much more complex than that. Men are actually pretty deep and enjoy many aspects of life and thought. I was flattered (however, she does know a bit about me and I think she was being manipulative, not flattering) but I also know that confirming her friendship would be getting me too close to the edge. If I think that her friendship would be innocent, and that I could handle such, then I have taken more liberty with myself than I think I should.
Maybe nothing would happen but then what would happen if FB conversations turned flirtatious? What would happen if I privately told her things about my marriage and my life that I didn't tell my wife? What if I became more interested in talking with her than my spouse? You can see the slippery slope that starts with just the click of a mouse. So, that's a guard rail that I have set in my life. I try to be very careful about what I allow into my life. I've seen too many men fall with just saying yes to simple things...
Now, I'm speaking about my life. These are just some simple predictabilities that I have thought through. I have planned ahead for what I believe is good for me. You may have different convictions than I have. You may be able to have FB friendships with people that seem questionable. But not me. I don't want to see how close I can get to that edge.
Caveat: I have found FB to be the world's largest mission field. I see it is a wonderful opportunity to make friends with people all over the world and also to share Jesus with people with whom I would never, ever have contact. I tend to use FB for joining groups and meeting people in rooms that have Administrators who monitor the conversations. That also gives me time to check out the person in a safe environment so that I have a better idea if the person is safe (predictable).
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