Search this site
IRONSTRIKES
  • Home
  • Blog
  • Beliefs
  • Formation
  • For Women
  • Meetings & Events

Submitting to female leadership taught me 4 things

4/20/2016

0 Comments

 
Picture
During my later high school years my faith was expanding and I was asking hard questions.  One of the conversations that filled my mind was the role of women in the church. I wanted to understand why our church never had female pastors. The hermeneutical nuance, (man that phrase sounds fancy) necessary to understand the Biblical texts about women in leadership, were beyond me at the time.

​But instinctively I knew that there was a breakdown between what I was learning about God and the practices of our church.


So when I asked my parents about female clergy the response I received was dumbfounding. It turned out our tribe, the Church of the Nazarene, had a long history of female clergy and it was an explicit part of our theology.

I AM SURE I ASKED THE QUESTION SEVERAL TIMES BECAUSE THAT DIDN’T MAKE SENSE. NO FEMALE PASTORS HAD EVER SERVED THE CHURCHES I GREW UP IN. I NEVER HEARD OF ONE IN ANY OF THE SURROUNDING CHURCHES. THERE WAS, PERHAPS, A CHILDREN’S PASTOR OR TWO, BUT CERTAINLY NOT A PREACHER! WERE MY PARENTS RIGHT? COULD THIS BE TRUE? WAS THERE SOME SORT OF STRANGE DISCONNECT BETWEEN THE THEOLOGY AND PRACTICE OF OUR CHURCH? WHERE WERE THE WOMEN PREACHERS? WHY DIDN’T THIS BOTHER ANYONE ELSE? 

It was exciting to find out that our church, at least theologically, was a bit of renegade when it came to the role of women. But it was also infuriating. If we believed this, and had a history of strong women in leadership, where were all the female clergy? 

Fast forward a few years. After 7 years of schooling, and several years of searching for a position, I found myself serving a Methodist Church in Chapel Hill, NC. (I have always been a bit of a black sheep among Nazarenes. They don’t know what to do with me. It explains my current exile in Indiana. Just a joke Hoosier friends!)

In North Carolina I was privileged to serve alongside of a very gifted associate pastor who just happened to a woman. During my time there she ended up serving as my senior pastor for a season. I also served alongside of numerous other female pastors there. Since coming to Indiana I have had the deep privilege of submitting myself to the leadership of wonderful people of God, men and women alike.
These experiences have absolutely reshaped my understanding of the church, leadership, and my own calling as a pastor. Submitting my life to serve and be led by women has unlocked so much truth about the kingdom of God for me. Here are some of those lessons.

1) The Church is misshaped and malnourished without women in leadership
When leadership is undertaken by men and women, together, it looks very different. There is a balancing of voices, ideas, and practices that leads to a deeper experience of kingdom life. Submitting to one another as leaders is a longer, slower, harder, process. There result, however,  is a far more complete kingdom experience. If we only have men in leadership what are we sacrificing? What gifts are missing? What decisions are being made without the proper input? What voices are being silenced?

Many of my early struggles in ministry were the result of serving in churches dominated by men. The staff environments were deeply unhealthy. The expectations for clergy, the worship services, the preaching, the financial choices that were made, they were all dominated by men.
Living, now, in a church shaped by men and women, of various ages, and backgrounds, has shown me the incredible beauty of balance. If the church doesn’t have a multitude of voices shaping its vision and practice it is most likely misshapen and malnourished. Mutual submission is such a gift to us all.

2) Male clergy desperately need strong women to submit themselves to
Despite my theological support of female clergy I didn’t actually know how I would feel serving underneath of a female senior pastor. The experience (which I am not claiming to be normative, just my own) was life giving. I felt deeply cared for by my friend Pat. She is a tremendously gifted listener, counselor, and speaks the truth with love. She challenged me in ways I had never been challenged before, all the while showing me tremendous grace. She showed me ways of leading that expanded my understanding of being a pastor. I saw her replace a very strong male pastor, lead in an entirely differently style, and be more effective in many respects.

My experience serving under a female pastor was wonderfully formative and such a gift. It changed my own style of leadership in very healthy ways.

As a senior pastor I am so indebted to the amazing women who help lead our congregation. The most effective, empowered, missional, leaders in our church are all women. We have wonderful men in leadership too, but the lay leaders I have that are most tuned into the Spirit, and willing to lead out boldly, are women. Our church has developed a very healthy culture for staff and lay people alike. The balance of voices in leadership and the choices we have made based on that balance is at the heart of this culture. I can’t imagine our shared life without our regular practice of sitting and listening to the voice of God together.

Our church doesn’t currently have  a regular female voice who preaches. (That is one of our staffing priorities, however, as we expand.) So we have made it a point, when we have opportunity, to bring in women to preach. I want my church to see me sit in the congregation and submit myself to women who are teaching the Word of God. It is no big deal to me, but I know for others it matters significantly.

3) We need to value all gifting and all calling
The church doesn’t value all gifts and calling the same. We value a particular type of leader more than others. That is part of the reason for the rise of the megachurch. We love extraordinary communicators, organizers, and visionaries. We flock to hear them and consider ourselves deeply privileged to submit to their leadership. We undervalue shepherds, patient listeners, and deep rooted purveyors of hospitality.

In the same way we have to value the gifting of all women, in all its various forms. There are women who are extraordinary communicators, organizers, and visionaries. There are women who are quiet listeners and shepherds. Women are just gifted, in as many different ways, as men are. (I know I am stating the obvious, but it needs to be stated clearly)

But to be honest, we don’t value all callings. We don’t value all leaders. We value some far more than others. We praise those that fit our desires and expectations and ignore those who don’t. Submitting to the leadership of a variety of types of leaders is so healthy. We have so much to teach each other, so many different parts of the body of Christ that we need in our lives.

4) We need checks and balances
The most important female leader in my life is my wife. I submit myself to her on a daily basis. As we lead each other in our marriage, we have learned the beautiful checks and balances we offer each other. I absolutely value my wife’s insights and opinions. This is especially true when it comes to people. If my wife has a visceral reaction to someone, either good or bad, I have learned to just trust it. Even when I can’t explain it or make sense of it, I trust it. This is especially true with pastors. There have been numerous pastors that we have met, served under, or interviewed, that my wife has provided vital insight into. If my wife tells me someone is an issue, even if I can’t understand why, I just listen to her.

The church, at its best, functions this way. Without women in leadership in the church we lose the checks and balances of a good marriage. We need each other to lead well. We need each other to cultivate an environment where the church will thrive. Mutual submission teach us listen to and trust each other.

So many of the pastoral failures are the result of incomplete leadership. One style of leader, one voice, one gender, one vision, one personality, dominates in an unhealthy way. This is the same of many of the marriage failures I have witnessed. We need the checks and balances of serving together.
​

The church must learn to value people the way God does, setting aside our biases, and aligning our theology and our practice. How can this possibly take place without men and women learning to mutually submit ourselves to each as leaders?

The original blog for this post can be found here:
 https://holinessreeducation.com/2016/04/15/what-submitting-to-women-has-taught-me/


0 Comments

Your comment will be posted after it is approved.


Leave a Reply.

    Rules for commenting:

    1.  Be respectful  
    2.  Refer to rule #1

    All comments may not be approved.

    Note that many identifying details about individuals in these posts are not accurate.  Their identity is protected, except for those individuals who are being honored or are public figures.

    RSS Feed

    Enter your email address:

    Delivered by FeedBurner

    Categories

    All
    Abortion
    Abraham
    Abstinence
    Abuse
    Accountability
    Adam
    Adam Yauch
    Addictions
    Admiration
    Adultery
    Affair
    Amos
    Angels
    Anger
    Anniversary
    Anoint
    Anonymous
    Anxiety
    Atheism
    Avoidant
    Bad Boy
    Battle
    Beastie Boys
    Beautiful
    Bestiality
    Betrayal
    Bird
    Blame
    Bobby Petrino
    Bondage
    Book Review
    Brian Head Welch
    Brothel
    B.T. Roberts
    Camping
    Cancer
    Challenge
    Change
    Chaotic
    Character
    Children
    Choice
    Christmas
    Church
    Church Camp
    Closed Door
    Compulsions
    Confession
    Confident
    Control
    Courage
    Covenant
    Creator
    Crown
    Crucifixion
    Darkness
    Death
    Deception
    Decision
    Demons
    Depression
    Detachment
    Devotions
    Dez Bryant
    Differences
    Dilemma
    Dirty
    Discipleship
    Disgusting
    Divorce
    Domestic Violence
    Domination
    Doubt
    Dreams
    Dr Hart8bb80a7b00
    Dwayne Allen
    Dysfunction
    Easter
    Eden
    Ego
    Eleazar
    Elitism
    Empty
    Envy
    Ephesians
    Equality
    Erectile Dysfunction
    Esau
    Eternity
    Euthanasia
    Evil
    Exhibitionism
    Eyes
    Facebook
    Faithfulness
    Fantasy
    Fasting
    Father
    Favorites
    Fear
    Fellatio
    Fighting
    Fishing
    Flashing
    Flattery
    Flesh
    Force
    Forgiveness
    Gentleman
    Girls Gone Wild
    G.K. Chesteron
    Goals
    God
    Good Friday
    Grace
    Gratitude
    Greek
    Guard
    Guilt
    Heart
    Heaven
    Hebrew
    Hell
    Henri Nouwen
    Histrionic
    Hogging
    Holiness
    Hollow
    Honesty
    Honor
    Hope
    Humility
    Humor
    Ichabod
    Idols
    Impurity
    Individuality
    Input
    Insane Clown Posse
    Integrity
    Intent
    Intimacy
    Isaac
    Islam
    Jack Schaap
    Jamaica
    Jealousy
    Jimmy Needham
    Job
    Joy
    J.R.R. Tolkien
    Judgmentalism
    Justice
    Kindness
    King David
    Kittens
    Komboloib7e292a311
    Korn
    Larry Norman
    Leave It To Beaver
    Lies
    Light
    Listening
    Loneliness
    Love
    Lust
    Lying
    Macho
    Manners
    Marriage
    Masculinity
    Masturbation
    Maturity
    Mca
    Meditation
    Messianic
    Meticulous
    Mighty
    Missions
    Money
    Monogamy
    Moses
    Motivations
    Movies
    Music
    Normal
    Obedience
    Obscenity
    Open Door
    Parenting
    Passiveaggressive2ed940c88b
    Pastor
    Path
    Perfection
    Personality Disorders
    P.O.D.
    Politics
    Pornography
    Pornograpy
    Power
    Practical
    Prayer
    Predator
    Prejudice
    Premature Ejaculaton
    Preparation
    Pride
    Problems
    Promises
    Protection
    Providence
    Purity
    Quechua
    Quiz
    Racism
    Regret
    Religious
    Repentance
    Reputation
    Research
    Respect
    Responsibility
    Rest
    Resurrection
    Revival
    Righteousness
    Robots
    Roughhousing
    Routine
    Rules
    Rut
    Sabbath
    Sacrifice
    Sadism
    Salvation
    Sanctification
    Satisfaction
    Selfishness
    Self Love
    Self-love
    Service
    Sex
    Sexism
    Sexuality
    Sexual Response
    Sexual Response
    Shame
    Sin
    Singing
    Snobbery
    Soldier
    Sovereignty
    Stalking
    Stephen Hawking
    Step-parenting
    Strong
    Success
    Succubus
    Suicide
    Swearing
    Sword
    Teenagers
    Temper
    Temptation
    Tenth Ave North
    Testing
    Theology
    Thinking
    Thomas Cogswell Upham
    Tim Tebow
    Tournament Male
    Tradition
    Trafficking
    Trapped
    Trauma
    Triggers
    Trust
    Truth
    U2
    Uncle Buddy
    Unity
    Violence
    Virtue
    Vulnerability
    Warrior
    Watchman Nee
    Waywardness
    What Is A Man
    Women
    Worry
    Worship
    Wussification
    Year In Review
    Zombies

    Archives

    December 2018
    November 2018
    October 2018
    September 2018
    August 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    February 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    November 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    August 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    February 2014
    January 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    August 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013
    March 2013
    February 2013
    January 2013
    December 2012
    November 2012
    October 2012
    September 2012
    August 2012
    July 2012
    June 2012
    May 2012
    April 2012
    March 2012
    February 2012
    January 2012

IRONSTRIKES

Men Forging Men