As we open ourselves to see and know God in new ways, we will need to guard against using our relationship with God as a new arena for expressing our perfectionism. We cannot now see God except in a 'poor reflection'. We cannot perfectly know God. We are not yet face to face with God. We see partially. We know partially. There is much that remains a mystery to us.
It is not easy for us to live with partial vision. It is difficult to tolerate the ambiguities and unknowns. Sometimes the imperfections in our understanding of God make us anxious. We feel that God expects more of us than that. We feel that we should have answers to every conceivable question, that we should never experience doubts, that we should have clarity at all times.
But this text makes it clear that 20:20 vision is not a realistic expectation in our relationship with God. Perfection is not an option for us. Accepting limits in our capacity to see and know God is part of getting to know God better.
The list of things I don't understand goes on and on, Lord.
What I don't know makes me anxious.
I am afraid of my doubts.
I want to see and know you so well that I no longer experience doubt.
I want to understand things so thoroughly, that I no longer experience anxiety.
But I cannot see you face to face. I only see and know in part.
Help me, Lord,
to find a way to live with uncertainty,
with doubts,
with anxiety.
Help me to embrace what you have revealed of your love and goodness.
And to live in anticipation of one day knowing you more fully.
Amen.
Copyright Dale and Juanita Ryan
National Association for Christian Recovery