The male sexual response is similar. I know a young man who really loved his dog and enjoyed spending time with her. At times, he would look out the window and masturbate while watching his dog play in the backyard. Over time, he unknowingly trained his sexual response to his dog. When he would see his dog, he would get an erection. I won't go further, because you know where this young man's behavior ended up getting him into trouble if you've read my posts about The Garbage Collector.
The same is true for pornography. If you look at pornography, you will end up training your sexual response to lascivious pictures. If you lust over the cheerleaders during the Super Bowl and then masturbate to their images, you will respond to those images. Thinking about and masturbating to thoughts and images of someone who is not your wife will lead to problems in your sexual response to your wife and to your soul. Jesus clearly taught this principle, that lusting after a woman is committing adultery.
So, if you have trained your sexual response to someone/something other that your wife, there is hope. The first thing you need to do is starve your eyes. No longer look at pornography, no longer look lustfully at other women. Get rid of your porn. Change channels when the cheerleaders come on and when that Victoria's Secret commercial comes on. When you check into a motel on business, tell them to block all the pay channels on your TV. Learn to anticipate temptation. Be proactive rather than reactive.
Next, you must train your mind to be obedient to Christ. Pray this verse every time you find your mind wandering , "brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things." Tell your pastor about your decision. Find men who will pray with you and hold you accountable.
I have a friend who is a professional dog trainer. He said, "A dog's natural impulses are bent and conditioned to serve the purposes of the trainer." Since we have dominion over creation, the natural impulses of animals, especially those that are domesticated , are to obey/fear us.
However, we humans don't have a natural impulse to obey/fear God. Rather, we have a natural impulse to obey our natural impulses. We are handcuffed by our impulses. That's why it is so important to get our impulses under the control of God. God clearly talks about this. "So put to death your worldly impulses: sexual sin, impurity, passion, evil desire and greed..."
If you feel overwhelmed by your impulses and feel defeated by your inability to resist temptation, know this: For every temptation, there is a way out. How do I know this? Because the Bible reminds us that God is faithful. He doesn't just create us and say, "Good luck! I hope you can ignore sin."
God wants to work in your life so that you don't react impulsively but respond the way that He desires. God wants to remove that selfishness that's within you and transform you so that you learn to please Him. You learn "to serve the purposes of your trainer."
What does "serving the purposes of your trainer" look like? Well, you change channels when Go Daddy puts up a sensuous commercial during the Super Bowl (since when do we need scantily clad women to sell website hosting?). You have paid channels blocked when you check into a hotel. You meet with men who hold each other accountable for godly behavior. You dump your porn.
However, "serving the purposes of your trainer" goes beyond behavior. It goes to a heart change. God wants your sanctification. Sanctification means that you permit God to change you from the inside out and reserve you for His special purposes. Can you let that happen? Yes, you can. Are you humble enough to let God make you into a real man? Yes, you are.