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Uncle Buddy:  Monkeys and Jawbones

11/24/2018

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One of my objections to evolution is that if you want anything done you have to put in your order anywhere from five to ten million years before you want the goods delivered. And then the question naturally arises, “Where will you be when Master Evolution delivers the goods?” Well, that really depends on how you lived while the goods were being manufactured.

I have seen the beautiful pullet in the barnyard sly and so timid that she would make you think of the blushing maid. But one day she laid her first egg and went to cackling. And strange to say she laid one egg each day for seventeen days and cackled every time she laid, for a cackling hen is a laying hen, and a laying hen is a cackling hen. But on the eighteenth day she went to setting and began to cluck, for a setting hen is a clucking hen, and a clucking hen is a setting hen. I would like to know how long it took Master Evolution to teach that pullet to turn her eggs over each day for twenty days and then hatch off her brood and go to clucking and scratching to provide food for her little ones. After the chicks are hatched, the hen then shelters them under her wings and lets them nestle in her feathers.

If an evolutionist were to have just one good thought, he would have a fit, for he came from nothing and he is nothing, and he is going to nothing. Therefore he can’t evolve one good idea. He thinks that we don’t know anything, and we know that he doesn’t. So the man with a divine Creator, and he himself a divine creation, is a million miles ahead of the gentlemen who have been millions of years coming from the lower order of animals to the higher order of animals.

Just how a bald-headed man can look at a monkey with a fine suit of hair on his little head and make himself believe that there is blood relationship between him and the monkey is a mystery to Old Bud. The elephant walked about in the pasture and said, “Gentlemen, if you want to see the biggest thing in the nation, please look this direction.” The billy goat walked about in the pasture, he gave his head a toss and said, “Gentlemen, if you want to see the fellow who has the stiffest neck of any other animal, please look here.” The polecat walked out and waved his beautiful bushy tail over his back and said, “Brethren, if you want to smell something, just walk this way.” The evolutionist walked down the sidewalk with a cigar in the corner of his mouth and said, “Gentlemen, if you desire to see an animal that has been ten million years evolving and hasn’t made a success of it yet, please look at me.”

Some time ago Reverend U. E. Harding told some of us boys a good story he had just heard. It is good enough to pass on to you. There was in a certain community a very gifted doctor. He got interested in trying to prolong life. He began studying how to make a medicine that would make a man young again. After many long, weary years of study, he finally got up his remedy, and it was a great success. One drop of this wonderful medicine would make a man five years younger than he was before he took the drop, and so two drops made him ten years younger. Just a few drops would take a man back to childhood.

An old gentleman heard of the wonderful discovery and went to see the great doctor. The doctor confirmed the reports of the medicine and told him that just a few drops would make him a young man again.  The old man, being very anxious for this, asked the doctor the price of the medicine. When told it was five hundred dollars a drop, he was heartbroken, because he could not buy any at all. While he talked with the doctor, the phone rang, and the doctor stepped out to answer the call. The old man grabbing the bottle drank every drop of the medicine. When the doctor returned, the old man was gone and to the doctor’s surprise, he saw an old pair of shoes and some old clothes. Behold, as he looked up, a monkey was swinging on the chandelier by the tail. This wonderful medicine had taken him back to prehistoric days, which all goes to prove to us that the evolutionist is correct!

A “genius” is a gentleman who can take a jawtooth that was discovered in Egypt and a jawbone that was discovered in England, a shinbone that was discovered in Italy, a shoulder blade found in western Canada, the joint out of a backbone seen down in Brazil, and with some clay and putty so arrange these bones as to build a jointed man, who lived ten million years ago. This same gentleman can then trace his blood relationship back to this made animal. Gentlemen, I tell you, the man who performs that miracle is a genius of the first magnitude!

Robinson, Reuben A. (Bud). The Collected Works of 'Uncle Bud' Robinson (Kindle Locations 4464-4496). Jawbone Digital. Kindle Edition. 




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