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A dad's job: Teaching respect

2/12/2014

Perhaps I’m just a curmudgeonly old guy now, but it seems to me that people are just not as respectful as they used to be. Much of our culture believes that you do not have any obligation to respect someone unless or until they respect you first. It is a twisted vision of biblical respect. First Peter 2:17 says, “Show proper respect to everyone.” It doesn’t say show proper respect if and only if they respect you in the way you think you deserve to be respected. It says to respect everyone because everyone was created in the image of God.

Maybe I’m the only one outraged and deeply disturbed by this downward shift in our cultural value system. But it does seem that young people are less respectful than my generation was. They seem to have a perverted concept of what constitutes respect. Many young men today believe they should be respected before they will offer respect. The fallacy in this philosophy is that true respect is earned, not bestowed. When I was young, I would not have even considered being disrespectful to an adult, especially one in a position of authority. Additionally, if I had gotten in trouble in school, I would have suffered not only disciplinary actions from the school, but I would have been punished twice as bad when I got home. I can tell you from talking to and working with teachers, coaches, police officers, and parents that our children are for the most part very disrespectful toward any kind of authority.

This disrespect for authority (parents, teachers, police, etc.) creates a lack of integrity because they have no accountability in their lives. Young men without accountability have no need to be dependable, honest, or trustworthy in their words or actions. Why should they? No one else seems to care.

Teaching boys proper manners is a good start to teaching them to respect themselves and others. Manners and politeness are really just showing respect for other people, even those you do not know. Teach your son the dictionary definition of respect, than look for opportunities help him be respectful in a variety of settings. Most of all, remember that a son best learns respect by observing his father show respect. And a son whose father respects him is more likely to want to respect his father. Boys who’s mothers respect them learn to respect all women.

This post was written by Rick Johnson. You can find the original post here: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/afewgrownmen/2014/02/is-respect-earned-or-given/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN

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A dad's job: Helping your kids explore

2/11/2014

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If there’s one single place we want to achieve excellence, it’s in our role as dads.

This is a huge challenge, because in case you haven’t noticed, kids are not putty in our hands. They are their own people, they have no concept of contributing to our sense of worth, and they are about as easy to control as quicksilver.

It’s because they hit the ground in exploration mode. Kids should be born into the world equipped with pith helmets and maps. By nature they are explorers. And also by nature, they have limited judgment or caution.

Whatever he sees, he wants to check out. Whatever is within her grasp, she wants to taste. A toddler on the beach is driven to explore her world one rock at a time.

As dads, our instinct is to protect. But we do well to turn the young explorers loose, and not go heavy on restraint and confinement. Oh yes, safety-certified car seats, approved inoculations, and clear drills about crossing the street.

But only enough of this to keep them from disaster.

We need to let them take a few risks.

Risk-taking is how they learn

When my mom, Dorothy, was 8 and her brother, Bobby, was 10, their dad bought a 3,000-acre dryland wheat ranch. No, their childhood years had no Disney-style entertainment equipment, no video games, or cable TV, but their childhoods came with a lot of adventure.

I asked what they liked best.

There were:

coulees to traverse,

chokecherry stands to discover,

pastures to explore,

a streambed or two to follow,

alfalfa to taste,

curious weeds to collect,

rattlesnakes to learn the sound of and to avoid,

prairie dog towns to wander into,

cloud formations to dazzle,

thunder storms to be caught in.

Exploring became their favorite form of play. If they were heading outdoors and their mom asked, “Where are you going?” the usual answer was, “Just going exploring.”

What was their main activity while exploring?

My mom responded to my question in an e-mail: “Alone in my private adventure playground, I thought my first big thoughts. I looked at my feet wandering along the cow path, small under the big sky, and realized, this is me.”

The joy of reckless exploration

Few children today are privileged to have such a wide expanse to explore, but all children instinctively explore their environment.

This past summer my five-year-old son explored his grandparents’ garden. It was all new to him. He found corn growing on stalks and whooped at the fun of twisting off an ear and peeling away the husks. He helped snatch tiny tomatoes that blinked like red lights, teasing him under the foliage. He found mounds of potatoes to unearth with Grandpa’s help.

He carried the bucket into the house and announced, “Look at this. We dug these up right out of the dirt!” His amazement was catching and we found ourselves looking in new wonder at the way things grow.

I restrained the urge to hurry him to the sink to wash his hands before we had properly appreciated his harvest.

Encourage the Columbus spirit, yes.

Sometimes a child’s exploring is about, “What would happen if I . . . ?” Sometimes it’s about, “Are there some new ways I can use this stick?”

We all know there’s no better toy for a kid than a cardboard box, especially one big enough to climb into. It’s another kind of exploring to figure out the spatial relationship between himself and the box, to learn how and where his body will fit, to let his imagination discover ways to turn the box into whatever he wants it to be.

Sometimes exploring is geographic. When families go on road trips, even short ones, it’s a good idea to equip a kid with a map and let her follow the route. She’ll gain a sense of where things are in relation to other things, an awe of the challenges of terrain, and a confidence in navigating her way in the world. She may even muse on what must have been the impressions of the first settlers who saw this part of the land.

A child who is encouraged in his instinct to explore may grow up to be the kind of person who discovers new worlds, who takes the extreme challenges, who imagines solutions from experiments in test-tubes.

My guess is that the people who sailed with Columbus beyond the edge of the known world, the families who trekked over the Oregon Trail, the Neil Armstrongs and Buzz Aldrins of space fame all started out as kids exploring their environments.

Maybe they tasted a rock, made a ship from a box, or roamed their father’s ranch, and the world is a richer place.

Maybe they had dads who gave them freedom to explore.

This post was written by Marcus Brotherton. For the original post, go to: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/afewgrownmen/2014/02/dads-give-your-kids-freedom-to-explore/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Are Men Obsolete? Are Boys in Danger? More on the “Decline of Men” and the “Boy Crisis”

1/15/2014

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These musings were triggered by some recent articles and blog posts. A December (2013) Time article described a national effort in Sweden to erase gender distinctions that, many men say, is really aimed at erasing masculinity. Another December Timearticle reported on a scholarly conference held in 2013 that asked “Are Men Obsolete?” A Patheos blogger argued during the same month that society, especially public education, is trying to “emasculate boys” by punishing them just for being boys.

Let me begin by saying that whenever I write on this subject (viz., gender issues) some people, both men and women, accuse me of being part of a “backlash” against feminism and of being “threatened” by the rise of women. Nothing could be farther from the truth, but, of course, I won’t be able to convince them. I’ll just say here that I have for a long time been a promoter of total equality between men and women, boys and girls, in everything. I have been a member of two churches pastored by women and have advocated full equality of women in church, family and society. I am an egalitarian. But that doesn’t commit me to support everything every feminist wants (e.g., gender-neutral language about God) or to oppose everything every non-feminist wants (e.g., male role models especially for boys). I am determined to stay out of the ideological fray over gender and do my best to look at the issues from a common sense point of view.

Common sense and experience tell me that there are gender differences that are not merely social. That is, gender is rooted partly in nature, not just nurture. (Here “gender” will refer to masculinity and femininity while “sex” will refer to biology and physiology. My point is that they are not entirely separable.) For example, I have known small children, toddlers, whose parents have tried very hard to raise them without gender stereotypes—sending them to daycares and pre-schools where boys will be encouraged to play with dolls and girls will be encouraged to play with trucks. And yet, in most cases, the little boys want to play with “heavy machinery” toys and pretend wooden sticks are swords while the girls want to play with dolls and kitchen sets. There are exceptions, of course, but I cannot escape the strong impression that little boys and little girls, overall and in general, are “wired” differently for play. Little boys are also, in general and overall, more “rambunctious” while little girls are, in general and overall, less so. This difference begins almost as soon as they can walk and grows no matter what parents and teachers do or say.

I believe little and big boys’ “rambunctious” tendencies need to be controlled, not erased. Whenever their rambunctiousness impinges on others’ freedom or safety it ought to be curbed by adults. But little and big boys should not be told to be more like girls. Or social engineered to be more like girls. The irony is that society seems to want boys to be more like girls but girls to be more like boys—even in those manners and habits they disdain in boys. Girls are encouraged to join the military and become fighters. Girls are encouraged to engage in very physical, even violent, sports. Girls are encouraged to become aggressive (as they mature) while aggression in boys is treated as a disease to be cured.

I believe boys, in general and overall, are naturally more competitive, goal-driven, aggressive, and constructive (in the sense of building things) than girls. Channeled and governed these tendencies contribute much to society. Treating them as a disease and punishing boys for displaying them in non-violent ways leads only to resentment and acting out—secretly if not openly (remember “Fight Club?”). Boys need outlets for physical energy. Instead, many schools are cancelling recess and requiring boys to sit still and be quiet in the same way most girls can for long periods of time.

Too many schools are punishing boys for being boys and pushing girls to be more like boys—beyond what they naturally want or are comfortable with.

What message do we, as a society, send to boys (I’m thinking here mainly of adolescents who are becoming aware of such things) when academics and scholars suggest that men are “obsolete?” What does “men are obsolete” mean? Well, of course, usually, it doesn’t mean the male sex is obsolete (although in a few cases of extreme feminists it might). It means the masculine gender is obsolete. Men, as men, have nothing distinctive to contribute to society. But always in such discussions women as women still do.

Here’s an example of how this works “on the ground,” so to speak. Like most academics I read The Chronicle of Higher Education and try to keep my pulse on what is happening in American academic life. For the past several years there has been a major “push” to get women into disciplines and professions historically populated mainly by men. One article I read in the Chronicle quoted feminist academics as saying that the profession of engineering, for example, will be improved by having more women engineers. Are the ranks of engineering closed to women? That’s the impression given. Or do few women really want to be engineers? God forbid anyone would suggest such a reason! But my question is this: Why do we never read an article where academics, men or women, argue that disciplines and professions traditionally populated by women should be opened to men because they will be improved by having more men in them? I have never heard anyone makes such a case. Why? The disciplines and professions of nursing, social work, teaching and interior decorating are dominated by women. Is that because their ranks are closed to men or because few men really want to enter those professions? Would those professions be improved by having more men in them? Who is asking such questions—in academic circles? Nobody that I know of.

This illustrates what “men are obsolete” means—at least “on the ground” in academics. It means men have nothing to contribute to the world as men while women do have much to contribute to every corner of society as women. In other words, masculinity is dead; long live femininity! (Here, of course, I’m not using “femininity” in the Victorian sense but in the sense of typically female traits.) The irony is, of course, that when the military needs recruits they advertise heavily for women. But academics, by and large, are not part of that effort because they tend to view the military and aggression in general as bad.

Now you may be one of those who thinks that academics have no real influence “in the real world.” But you would be wrong. They do. They lead professional societies and university departments and have great influence in, for example, accrediting associations. For years educational accrediting associations have been pushing, if not requiring, schools at all levels to work for women’s rights and inclusion and equality (which I support). But sometimes, and I think too often, some proposals and practices that result are detrimental to boys. Not enough people are noticing that and speaking up about it. Some are, but the movers and shakers of American education are not.

Again, someone will accuse me of “feeling threatened” by the rise of girls and women. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have two daughters and a granddaughter and I am delighted whenever barriers fall that would keep them from doing whatever they want to do. And, at my stage of life and profession, I could not be “threatened” by the rise of women. My concern arises out of an interest in justice. Justice is for boys and young men as well as for girls and young women. And yet our society has not even begun to make the necessary course corrections to do justice to boys and young men. Girls and young women are succeeding at all levels of education while boys and young men are falling behind. There are numerous programs aimed at helping girls and young women and very few aimed at helping boys and young men.

To say that men are obsolete doesn’t hurt me personally or professionally. I’m beyond that. But it hurts my sense of justice—for boys and young men who increasingly don’t know where they belong or fit in society. Many see the social favoritism shown to girls—especially in education and in many businesses—and choose to drop out rather than hide or drop their masculinity.

So what would I like to see? More efforts by educational associations and government entities to recruit men to be teachers. More efforts to help boys and young men succeed in school. Programs developed specifically for boys and young men in schools (there are many for girls and young women). Public messages that indicate that being male is not a sin; it’s okay to be a boy and a man. “Men’s studies” courses and programs in universities and colleges that don’t just cater to gays. Public policies and programs by non-profit organizations to help men live long, healthy lives. Cessation of all punishment of boys in schools just for being boys. (See “The Emasculation of Boys” by Tim Wright at his Patheos blog “Searching for Tom Sawyer” [December 15].) Portrayals of positive masculinity in entertainment. (For those of you who want an example of what I want more of—see the movie “The Way Way Back” in which a troubled fatherless adolescent is mentored by an adult male who is kind and also very masculine.)

This post was written by Roger E Olson. For the original post, go to: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/rogereolson/2014/01/are-men-obsolete-are-boys-in-danger-more-on-the-decline-of-men-and-the-boy-crisis/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Failing in this New Year

1/1/2014

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I am well content with weaknesses, with insults, with distresses,
with persecutions, with difficulties—2 Corinthians 12:10

We men are often just wrong about failure. It seems we’ve all decided that if we ever experience failure, we're then failures. It’s not true. Failure is integral to human life, the way God designed it. Look at Abraham, Jacob, Moses, David, Peter—all experienced failure, because they were mere humans. Mere humans fail every so often . . . and it’s good that we do.

Failure refines us. We mature through failures because we learn from them—much more than from successes. Through failures our character is formed (Romans 5:3-5). No man can become who he’s supposed to become without experiencing some failure in his life. Failure also fuels us . . . or, rather, the potential for failure. While we may not like failure, we like to face its potential. We like to be tested. It’s why we like sports . . . or any competition, really. It’s often the excitement of uncertain outcomes that actually drives us to learn from failures and improve, in the hope of avoiding more. But the potential for failure must be real. When it is, though, we will actually sometimes fail.

The danger, of course, is in getting stuck—in the shame of failures past or the fear of failures future . . . or maybe both. When we do, failure defeats us: we live dull lives, devoid of daring. But, we need not get stuck. We can, instead, reject the shame of failure and learn to deal with it—by acknowledging fault; confessing and repenting (if sin was involved); facing any consequences; allowing God to teach us what we need to learn . . . and then moving on.

Okay, so what do we do?

What are one or two big risks you’d like to take this new year?

Write them down, commit to them, and tell some friends about them—so they can motivate you and keep you accountable.

Copyright © 2013 Gather Ministries, All rights reserved.
www.gaitherministries.com

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Why I volunteer in the church nursery

12/17/2013

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I’ve noticed that it is uncommon for men to volunteer in the church nursery. I haven’t quite figured out why, maybe some who read this post can help me understand why some men don’t volunteer.

Yet, there are times that I have seen men volunteer in the church nursery. When I see men volunteering, it really encourages me as men have a vital role to play in the development of children.

Our churches are no exception, we men can contribute much to the spiritual, emotional and physical development of the children in our care.

Taking care of the youngest people in our church is essential and we men can play a vital role in their lives. Here are some reasons why I volunteer in the church nursery:

1.     I’m counting on a long-term relationship with these children. I want to get to know them at all phases of their development and be there for them during these developmental processes.

2.     A long-term relationship means that these children will grow up being familiar with me.   Hopefully, by being familiar, they will seek out my friendly advice for their lives as they grow.

3.     By being familiar with them from a young age, I earn the right to speak to them about their behavior as they grow.

4.     I want to model that men don’t have to always be tough acting. Men can be tender and caring.

5. Typically, men care for children differently than women. Men play more. Women nurture more. Children need both.

6.     Children need to see how men and women work together. By men volunteering in the nursery with women nursery volunteers, children get a more complete picture of human relationships.

7.     When men and women volunteer in the church nursery together, children get a more complete picture of what God is like.

8.     With single parenting becoming more common, we men can help those children who need a positive male influence.

9. Sometimes, it's just plain fun to get on the floor and play like a kid.

Those are just some simple reasons that come to mind. Can you think of other reasons why men need to volunteer in the church nursery?

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Built to Last

12/9/2013

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As an infantry soldier I spent a lot of time sleeping in the great outdoors. Most of the time when we slept in the field we did so without any sort of a tent or anything like that, we simply laid on a mat we carried and covered up with a poncho liner. However, every once in a while we would get to build a hooch. To build a hooch you used a poncho, some tent stakes and bungee cords. When you built your hooch you had to build it strong enough to hold up to winds and rains that might come up in the night. Since our building materials weren’t the strongest materials in the world you had to be very careful how you built your hooch.

There were some things you had to do in order to build a hooch that would survive a storm. First you had to build it low to the ground. This not only gave the wind less to ‘grab’ on to, but it also made for a smaller silhouette that made it harder for the enemy to see it. Secondly, you had to tie it off in as many places as possible. There were 8 reinforced rings on the outer edges of the poncho that were perfect for this. Thirdly, you had to be sure and cinch the hood closed and tie it off slightly elevated from the rest of the poncho. This made sure rain didn’t run into the poncho through the hood and it made sure the poncho didn’t have to hold water.

To build a hooch that would survive the winds and rains took a bit of time. After you had built your hooch you would pull all your stuff in and go to bed. If a storm came up in the night the screams of those who were getting wet and chasing their poncho told us clearly who had taken the time to build their hooch correctly and who had cut corners so they could get a few extra minutes of sleep. One thing that was really interesting about this is that most of the hooches that didn’t make it looked okay on the outside. It wasn’t until the storms came that you could tell their hooch wasn’t built correctly.

There are a lot of Christians today that are a lot like those poorly built hooches. On the outside they look okay. They have homes, cars, possessions, family and really just about anything a person could want. By all appearances they are living the American dream. Despite their appearance, their stability is flimsy.

Their lack of stability is clearly seen when a storm comes into their lives. The upheaval the storm brings shatters the image of stability they are showing. This results in their family being torn apart or severely damaged. Peace and contentment become strangers. Many times this instability causes psychological problems and physical illness. The joy and victory that is supposed to characterize the Christian life is gone seemingly never to return.

Have you ever wondered why some Christians can go through tremendous trials and come through with amazing testimonies, a faith that is stronger than ever and deeper commitment to Christ than they’ve ever had, while others are nearly destroyed by their trial and crash in horrific defeat? It is because there is something wrong in the way they’ve built.

For further study read Luke 6:46-49.

What should we do if we call Jesus Lord?

Why did one house stand and the other house fall?

What are some of the storms that come into our lives?

What is the right foundation for our lives?

This post was written by Rev Ross. For the original post, go to: http://stacyjross.wordpress.com/2013/12/02/built-to-last/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Boring guys: Women love them

11/29/2013

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So not every guy proposes with lip syncing, rolling cameras, and a choreographed entourage.

Yeah — so what if your Dad didn’t?

He just pulled that beat-up Volkswagon Rabbit of his over in front of Murray Reesor’s hundred acre farm right there where Grey Township meets Elma Township, pulled out a little red velvet box, and whispered it in the snowy dark: “Marry me?”
“He didn’t even get down on one knee or anything?”

You boys ask it incredulous, like there’s some kind of manual for this kind of holy.

And I’ve got no qualms in telling you no. No, he didn’t even get down on one knee – it was just a box, a glint of gold in the dark, two hallowed words and a question mark.

“Boring.”

I know. When you’ve watched a few dozen mastermind proposals on youtube, shared them with their rolling credits on Facebook, marvelling at how real romance has an imagination like that.

Can I tell you something, sons?

Romance isn’t measured by how viral your proposal goes. The internet age may try to sell you something different, but don’t ever forget that viral is closely associated with sickness – so don’t ever make being viral your goal.

Your goal is always to make your Christ-focus contagious – to just one person.

It’s more than just imagining some romantic proposal.

It’s a man who imagines washing puked-on sheets at 2:30 am, plunging out a full and plugged toilet for the third time this week, and then scraping out the crud in the bottom screen of the dishwasher — every single night for the next 37 years without any cameras rolling or soundtrack playing -- that’s imagining true romance.

The man who imagines slipping his arm around his wife’s soft, thickening middle age waistline and whispering that he couldn’t love her more…. who imagines the manliness of standing bold and unashamed in the express checkout line with only maxi pads and tampons because someone he loves is having an unexpected Saturday morning emergency.

The man who imagines the coming decades of a fluid life – her leaking milky circles through a dress at Aunt Ruth’s birthday party, her wearing thick diaper-like Depends for soggy weeks after pushing a whole human being out through her inch-wide cervix, her bleeding through sheets and gushing amniotic oceans across the bathroom floor and the unexpected beauty of her crossing her legs everytime she jumps on the trampoline with the kids.

The real romantics imagine greying and sagging and wrinkling as the deepening of something sacred.

Because get this, kids — How a man proposes isn’t what makes him romantic. It’s how a man purposes to lay down his life that makes him romantic.

And a man begins being romantic years before any ring – romance begins with only having eyes for one woman now – so you don’t go giving your eyes away to cheap porn. Your dad will say it sometimes to me, a leaning over – “I am glad that there’s always only been you.” Not some bare, plastic-surgeon-scalpel-enhanced pixels ballooning on a screen, not some tempting flesh clicked on in the dark, not some photo-shopped figment of cultural beauty that’s basically a lie.

The real romantics know that stretchmarks are beauty marks and that different shaped women fit into the different shapes of men souls and that real romance is really sacrifice.

I know – you’re thinking, “Boring.”

Can you see it again – how your grandfather stood over your grandmother’s grave and brushed away his heart leaking without a sound down his cheeks?

50 boring years. 50 unfilmed years of milking 70 cows, raising 6 boys and 3 girls, getting ready for sermon every Sunday morning, him helping her with her zipper. 50 boring years of arguing in Dutch and making up in touching in the dark, 50 boring years of planting potatoes and weeding rows on humid July afternoons, 50 boring years of washing the white Corel dishes and turning out the light on the mess – till he finally carried her in and out of the tub and helped her pull up her Depends.

Don’t ever forget it:

The real romantics are the boring ones — they let another heart bore a hole deep into theirs.

Be one of the boring ones. Pray to be one who get 50 boring years of marriage – 50 years to let her heart bore a hole deep into yours.

Let everyone do their talking about 50 shades of grey, but don’t let anyone talk you out of it: committment is pretty much black and white. Because the truth is, real love will always make you suffer. Simply commit: Who am I willing to suffer for?

Who am I willing to take the reeking garbage out for and clean out the gross muck ponding at the bottom of the fridge? Who am I willing to listen to instead of talk at? Who am I willing to hold as they grow older and realer? Who am I willing to die a bit more for every day? Who am I willing to make heart-boring years with? Who am I willing to let bore a hole into my heart?

Get it: Life – and marriage proposals — isn’t not about one up-manship — it’s about one down-manship. It’s about the heart-boring years of sacrifice and going lower and serving. It’s not about how well you perform your proposal. It’s about how well you let Christ perform your life.

Sure, go ahead, have fun, make a ridiculously good memory and we’ll cheer loud: propose creatively — but never forget that what wows a woman and woos her is you how you purpose to live your life.

I’m praying, boys — be Men. Be one of the ‘boring” men – and let your heart be bore into. And know there are women who love that kind of man.

The kind of man whose romance isn’t flashy – because love is gritty.
The kind of man whose romance isn’t about cameras — because it’s about Christ.
The kind of man whose romance doesn’t have to go viral — because it’s going eternal.

No, your dad did not get down on one knee when he proposed – because the romantic men know it’s about living your whole life on your knees.

There are Fridays. And the quiet romantics who will take out the garbage without fanfare. There will be the unimaginative calendar by the fridge, with all it’s scribbled squares of two lives being made one. The toilet seat will be left predictably up. The sink will be resigned to its load of last night’s dishes.

And there is now and the beautiful boring, the way two lives touch and go deeper into time with each other.

The clock ticking passionately into decades.

This post was written by A. Voskamp. You can find the original post here: http://www.aholyexperience.com/2013/11/the-real-truth-about-boring-men-and-the-women-who-live-with-them-redefining-boring/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Wussification - Play nice

9/25/2013

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A seventh-grade student in Virginia Beach, Va., has been suspended from school for playing with an airsoft gun with a friend in his front yard while waiting for the school bus.

WAVY-TV reports that 13-year-old Khalid Caraballo will find out soon if he will be expelled for "possession, handling and use of a firearm" because the guns were fired at two others playing in Caraballo's yard.

A neighbor saw Khalid shooting the airsoft gun in his yard and called 911, telling the dispatcher, "He is pointing the gun, and it looks like there's a target in a tree in his front yard," the station reported.

Khalid claims he never took the toy gun to the designated bus stop or Larkspur Middle School, according to the report. Two other students who fired guns were also suspended.

In a letter obtained by WAVY.com, school principal Matthew Delaney found that the "children were firing pellet guns at each other, and at people near the bus stop." Delaney states in the letter that one child "was only 10 feet from the bus stop, and ran from the shots being fired, but was still hit."

The school's so-called "zero-tolerance" policy on guns extends to private property, according to the report.

Khalid's mother, Solangel Caraballo, said it's ridiculous that her son and his friends were suspended because they were firing the airsoft gun on private property.

"My son is my private property. He does not become the school's property until he goes to the bus stop, gets on the bus, and goes to school," Caraballo told the station.

Khalid told WAVY-TV he thinks the punishment is unfair and may hurt his chances of getting into a good college after graduating from high school.

"It's on your school record. The school said I had possession of a firearm. They aren't going to ask me any questions. They are going to think it was a real gun, and I was trying to hurt someone," he said.

This post comes from FOX News. For the original post, go to: http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/09/24/7th-grader-suspended-for-playing-with-airsoft-gun-in-own-yard/

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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Jesus turned misogyny on its head

8/28/2013

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When Jesus came onto the scene he turned misogyny (hatred of women) on its head. A rabbi at that time wouldn’t speak to a woman in public, not even his own wife (this is still true for orthodox rabbis). Even today, an orthodox Jewish man is forbidden to touch or be touched by any woman who is not his wife or a close family relation. Jesus didn’t abide by those rules. During his ministry Jesus engaged with women many times. He spoke to them. He touched them. He taught them. He esteemed them. He had women minister to him physically, touching him, washing his feet, anointing him with oil and with their tears. He had women disciples traveling with him, supporting him, learning from him, and “sitting at his feet.” If we, the church, the body of Christ, had followed the example that Jesus had set instead of the traditions of men held captive to sin and the fall, we would have a much higher history here.

This post is an excerpt from the book, BECOMING MYSELF by Stasi Eldredge

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Can people really change?

8/23/2013

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I wanted to tell you one story I encountered at Shepherd Community Center. It’s about Curtis Adkins, who when growing up looked like a tragedy waiting to happen.

His father left the family. They moved every three to four months in the city. Adkins would switch schools and fall behind, so school officials put him in classes for learning disabilities.

By middle school Adkins thought of himself as a troublemaker, and so did school authorities. He was expelled from one school and sent to another one. He landed in juvenile court on minor charges. He tried drugs, abused alcohol, and got kicked out of his mother’s house.

As a homeless teen, Adkins stayed on friends’ couches. Often that profile adds up to a life of crime and prison—but this young man also bumped into people who wanted to help him. A family took him in for a year, on the condition that he join the Shepherd Community Center. There he heard about the small Indianapolis Christian School, where he benefited from small class sizes and tutoring.

Adkins worked at Shepherd and the school to pay tuition. He learned to work at small goals instead of big dreams. He’d earn just enough money for the next semester’s tuition. He would master a basic English or math skill he had missed in earlier years.

Yet it wasn’t always a smooth ride, for Adkins or the people assisting him. Shepherd director Jay Height came to see why Adkins had been booted out of school. “He was obnoxious,” Height recalled. “I kicked him out when he was first here.”

Another family recommended that he join them on a short mission trip to serve in Bolivia. “I thought I was poor, staying with people here and there,” Adkins said. “Then I went to a Third World country and saw kids without shoes and moms raising their kids in the street.”

He also saw a new side of Christian faith. Adkins had tried to improve himself to please God: “Before that trip I felt to accept Christ that I would have to change so much in my life. My life would have to be perfect.”

He discovered a different perspective in Bolivia. “I realized that Christ loved me in spite of my sins,” Adkins said. “It wasn’t about ourselves or what we were doing, but it was about what God was doing.”

Adkins does not recall a dramatic conversion. Rather, he had seen many believers show him the love of Christ. Their perseverance in that love was a big factor in his journey.

Some teachers had advised Adkins to forget about college and consider a trade school. He was scared to think about college. But friends at Shepherd thought he could make it, especially after he discovered his audio learning style and made more progress in school. He also fell in love with soccer and wound up playing at Ohio Valley University in West Virginia.

Small goals helped him not get discouraged. He kept his GPA above 2.0 to stay on the soccer team, eventually graduating cum laude.

Adkins is now 31, married, with two children and a stable job. These days he serves at Shepherd Community Center, attempting to steer other at-risk children and teens to the straight-and-narrow path. Jay Height sees Adkins as an important part of a team aiming to break multi-generational poverty on the East Side of urban Indianapolis. “He’s helping us shape our programs because he’s been there,” Height said. “He’s improving our diversity of voice to include those who are the first generation out of poverty.”

When tempted to give up, friends who had helped him encouraged Adkins to change course: “I started moving in the right direction because I didn’t want to let these people down.” Now he wants to do something similar for those in the same part of Indianapolis: “People invested in my life at Shepherd. I felt like it was part of my job to come back and invest in the lives of others.”

Adkins doesn’t see himself as a self-made man. He’s grateful to the Lord and friends who came alongside him in times of need.

This post was written by Russ Pulliam for World Magazine. You can find the original post at: http://www.worldmag.com/2013/08/how_christ_changed_a_life

BE HOLY.
BE A MAN.

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